Episode 12: The Bad Cats

--------: 1:24 PM

LouisTheCat: rick

LouisTheCat: rick

LouisTheCat: rick

RickDickens77: What's up

LouisTheCat: im in bad shape here rick

RickDickens77: What did you do now

LouisTheCat: it wasnt my fault

LouisTheCat: i got in a fight

RickDickens77: A fight?? What happened?

LouisTheCat: it was the bad cats

RickDickens77: Oh my god Lou, are you ok?

RickDickens77: How bad is it?

LouisTheCat: im not good

LouisTheCat: ill probably live

LouisTheCat: but im not good

LouisTheCat: i need you home

RickDickens77: Wow, Lou, I'm so sorry

RickDickens77: I'll be home as soon as I can, ok?

LouisTheCat: please hurry rick

--------: 1:49 PM

RickDickens77: Lou, I'm still working on getting out of here

LouisTheCat: rick you gotta get home man

LouisTheCat: things are getting bad here

RickDickens77: I know, I'm trying

RickDickens77: My boss is driving me crazy

LouisTheCat: is it because hes black

RickDickens77: ...What?

LouisTheCat: is your boss driving you crazy because hes black

RickDickens77: No. That's not why.

RickDickens77: My boss isn't even black.

LouisTheCat: is it because hes siamese

RickDickens77: No. Siamese? No. My boss is white, like me, not that it matters.

LouisTheCat: is it because hes a woman

RickDickens77: No, my boss isn't- OK what is this about

LouisTheCat: ive just heard some things rick

LouisTheCat: some terrible things

RickDickens77: Right. From who.

LouisTheCat: the bad cats

RickDickens77: The bad cats. The bad cats were talking about me.

LouisTheCat: thats right

LouisTheCat: why do you think i got in a fight

RickDickens77: You got in a fight because of me?

LouisTheCat: i got in a fight defending your honor rick

RickDickens77: What on earth were they saying?

LouisTheCat: some things i dont even want you to have to hear

RickDickens77: Try me.

LouisTheCat: are you sure

RickDickens77: Out with it.

LouisTheCat: they say youre racist rick

RickDickens77: Well, that's crazy.

LouisTheCat: is it

LouisTheCat: is it rick

RickDickens77: Why, do you agree?

LouisTheCat: well

LouisTheCat: is it or is it not true that you targeted the two black cats down the street for tearing up our doormat

RickDickens77: They were the ones doing it!

LouisTheCat: sounds like profiling to me

RickDickens77: There were chunks of it in their back yard!

LouisTheCat: circumstantial evidence

RickDickens77: Wait, this is ridiculous.

RickDickens77: Those cats are troublemakers.

LouisTheCat: those cats

LouisTheCat: listen to yourself

RickDickens77: I don't hold an opinion about black cats, the ones who did that just happen to be black.

LouisTheCat: so you expect us to believe you didnt look to them first

LouisTheCat: because of their color

RickDickens77: All cats are the same!

LouisTheCat: rick

LouisTheCat: wow

LouisTheCat: i dont even know what to say

LouisTheCat: just wow

RickDickens77: You know what I mean.

LouisTheCat: sure i know

LouisTheCat: we cats are all the same

LouisTheCat: lazy

LouisTheCat: untrustworthy

LouisTheCat: good at basketball

LouisTheCat: ive heard them all rick

RickDickens77: Stop it.

LouisTheCat: anyway thats not all they say about you

RickDickens77: I can't wait.

LouisTheCat: now i dont think this is true

LouisTheCat: theyre probably just making this up

LouisTheCat: but these guys say youre a cat smuggler

RickDickens77: A what.

LouisTheCat: a cat smuggler

RickDickens77: I don't think there is any such thing.

LouisTheCat: youd be surprised

LouisTheCat: happens all the time

RickDickens77: It does?

LouisTheCat: oh rick you would not believe

RickDickens77: I bet I wouldn't. Anyway, why would they think that about me?

LouisTheCat: apparently

LouisTheCat: and trust me they would never hear this from me

LouisTheCat: but theres this rumor that a few years ago you took a cat from old mrs wembley

RickDickens77: Oh really.

LouisTheCat: just saying what i heard

RickDickens77: That's a pretty bold accusation.

LouisTheCat: the true ones often are

RickDickens77: Well that one does happen to be true.

LouisTheCat: rick

LouisTheCat: rick no

LouisTheCat: how could you even

RickDickens77: IT WAS YOU LOU.

LouisTheCat: you stole me oh my god

RickDickens77: NO, SHE GAVE YOU TO ME.

RickDickens77: She had like ten cats, and she was getting too old to take care of them, so she was giving them away.

LouisTheCat: oh that mrs wembley

RickDickens77: Yeah. That Mrs. Wembley. I had permission to take you.

LouisTheCat: ok well lets say for a second that i buy that

LouisTheCat: and im not saying these guys will

LouisTheCat: but even if i believe you about that much

LouisTheCat: they also say

LouisTheCat: and again this is just what im hearing on the streets

LouisTheCat: they say theres a lady who left here smelling like cat pee

RickDickens77: Oh, for God's sake.

LouisTheCat: hey thats just the word out there

RickDickens77: I bet if you think REAL HARD, you can figure out what that one's about.

LouisTheCat: yeah ok i might remember something about that

LouisTheCat: still

LouisTheCat: you have to admit it looks suspicious

RickDickens77: I have to do nothing of the sort.

RickDickens77: Now listen, I need to get back to work so I can get home and help you out.

LouisTheCat: theres one more thing rick

RickDickens77: Alright, go. Quickly.

LouisTheCat: you drive a ford festiva

LouisTheCat: the whole neighborhood thinks you drive a festiva

RickDickens77: I do drive a Festiva. It's a good American car.

LouisTheCat: oh god i cant even

LouisTheCat: i just barfed

LouisTheCat: rick why

RickDickens77: It's a car, what's the big deal

LouisTheCat: oh my god i cant even stop barfing

LouisTheCat: rick who are you

LouisTheCat: im trying to defend you rick

LouisTheCat: im putting my reputation on the line out there

LouisTheCat: taking back things i said about you

LouisTheCat: but youre not giving me much to work with

RickDickens77: Ok, ok, enough

RickDickens77: Who are these "bad cats" anyway

LouisTheCat: oh the persians

LouisTheCat: awful breed

LouisTheCat: slippery

LouisTheCat: evil

LouisTheCat: godless

LouisTheCat: hate shorthairs

RickDickens77: You have got to be kidding me.

LouisTheCat: i wish i were rick

LouisTheCat: the world is a troubled place

--------: 2:25 PM

RickDickens77: Alright look

RickDickens77: I offered to work the weekend to get out of here early today

RickDickens77: So I'm on my way. Hang in there pal.

RickDickens77: Thanks for sticking up for me, sorry you got hurt.

--------: RickDickens77 has gone offline

LouisTheCat: no no i won that fight its just the tv wont turn on

BAHAHAHAHAHA, so needed this!

4 months ago  /  209 notes  /  Source: louisvsrick